This past weekend, myself and some of the Colorado Springs crew went up to experience the long infamous Fort Collins BrewFest. Brewfest is a festival within Fort Collins celebrating the gift that is beer. Many of Colorado famous breweries setup up shop and deal out the carbohydrate libations to thousand of thirsty college students. The line to purchase the bands proving legal age was several hundred yards long.
People where very thirsty waiting in line, but we took this opportunity to ensure that we would not suffer the bouts of dehydration as well as keep ourselves entertained.
After having our ids check several times, we were allowed to proceed and a purchase tokens for beer. One token equaled one beer, but we soon learned several tricks to make our tokens go a little bit further. There were three techniques to be exact.
- The fake dunk method ( Slight of hand showing the motion of place the token in the bucket)
- The token snap procedure (break the token and ‘wallah’ you have two tokens now to place in the bucket)
- The booty short-shorts approach (proposed by Dr. D-Money PHD. MB. OW.)
Before proceeding into the case study and live field test of the “Booty short-shorts appoarch”, let me talk about the atmosphere. Ft. Collins blocked off 2 intersecting streets, with provide a nice live-square to mingle. The target demographic was definitely tailored to the college crowd. Live music, food and beer where the only things that graced the square. The 3 ends of the intersecting streets were block with 3 semi-trailers filled with kegs of beer. (See the layout diagram) The square was also heavily patroled by police making it a very safe environment.
The day was hot and sunny, which made everyone bring out the shorts, skirts and sunglasses. I will have to say that this was one of the largest gathering of scenester sunglasses that I have seen since opening day at A-basin or the Lovefest of Califorina. I saw multiple copies of my old sunglasses, which I now cannot wear anymore. However, I was prepared that day and brought along my newest sunglasses to try and maintain my freshness.
Since we around at Brewfest at noon, the sun was extremely hot and bright (the altitude is killer). Derek, Will, and I decide now would be the best time to breakout our special shorts. This was a great call because our knees were getting really sweaty.
However to our surprise, people were not accustom to our shorts. People were shy to this idea so we decided to go on a goodwill mission and make as many new friends as possible and open some minds. People’s reactions fell into into one of two categorizes, of either amazement or jealously. The mission started off alittle weird. People would passed and do a double or triple take, but since it was our job to open minds to the world of man shorts again, we would let out our battle cry, “Hey, don’t worry… Looks are free”. After hearing that people knew that it was ok to come closer and see what this was all about. After awhile, we recruited several other dudes, who wanted to join our short-shorts crusaded. They would proceed to roll their shorts up to free the cool breeze on there knees. I believe we forever changed their lives.
The shorts also got us lots of free drinks for some reason. I do not know why, but almost all of or free drinks came from girls. I guess they were supportive in our ideals that short-shorts are just not for girls anymore. End the double standard. A couple girls were definitely jealous that our shorts were shorter and got more attention than theirs.
We made lots of friends that day, including a cop or two, and I
think we open some doors for some people to a brave new world.
-Thank you, Brewfest (the State College of CO)
Yum .. Free 
Knees were no longer sweaty 
Looking back at the Lines. Lots of Thirsty People 
we want in 
Lots of People 
Waiting in Line 
Shorts and new friends 
Girls, got us drinks